The art of depression

I am an artist. Most people know about my love of photography. It has its perks of a nice little side job to earn money for the kids birthday and Christmas gifts. Ultimately, that's why I started doing it for money. we were financially strapped and Christmas was coming. So I offered pictures for Christmas cards at a cheap starting price and it's grown over the blast seven years. Sometimes it monotonous, but I really love when I can branch out with some fun ideas to be more creative.

What people don't really know is that I also paint and sketch. I've done it since high school, though I've lost technique over the years without practice. But to me, art comes naturally. It's a family trait. Both my parents have excelled in visual and performing arts, as well as my dad's sisters. I did theater and choir and even band in high school, and took drawing classes in college so I'm familiar with art. I'm even excited to see my girls dancing, singing, drawing, and painting, and I have no doubt that they will excel at them as well.

A few months ago, when I was in the depths of despair (as Anne Shirley would say), I decided to draw. The strokes on a page help me to focus, to concentrate on other things than my feelings and release tension. However, I wasn't feeling very inspired to draw anything. I didn't want rainbows and unicorns, or flowers in a tree. I wasn't feeling happy and couldn't portray happiness in a sketch. It would feel like a lie.

Then I had an idea. Very rarely do I ever see any artwork depicting depression and anxiety. There will be images that come up with on Google, but you have to search them. They won't just pop up on your Facebook feed. Why? Because it's taboo. People are afraid to talk about it. It's as if depression is an embarrassment and they are ashamed. Or they are afraid of judgement from other people who will shy away at the disease. How do you share that with people without worrying about their reaction and the awkward response that might come? Unless we are open about it, people won't get more comfortable with the subject.

As Hank Smith says, (amazing EFY speaker, check out his collection of talks here) you wouldn't be embarrassed to take insulin if you have diabetes, so why be embarrassed about anti depressants? You wouldn't tell someone with cancer that they are faking it and doing it for attention. So why is that said about the disease of depression and anxiety? It is a disease. It just doesn't have an outside appearance. It's mental health. And there shouldn't be any shame in it. People have different types of depression and anxiety, just like there are different types of physical diseases, but it should all be treated the same.

Anyway, my idea was to take my emotions and sketch them on paper. I wanted to show a view of how I was feeling personally. The different ways that depression affects me in my daily life. So I did. I found it very therapeutic to release  my emotions into my work. Being able to draw a picture and say, "this is how I feel," made it easier to describe my life. I haven't really shown them to anyone, other than a couple family members and friends. But I'm hoping that posting them here will help bring awareness and understanding to depression and anxiety and help those who suffer to be more open and less ashamed about it.